Social Emotional Spotlight – Sam’s Tips: Tantrums in Stores
It happens to all of us and it’s never fun. You’re embarrassed, you feel like everyone is judging you, you’re sweating more than you’d like, and you just don’t understand why your kids can’t control themselves for 5 minutes.
I thought I could take my girls to Crate & Barrel to ask a salesperson something. We walk in, Ava locks eyes with a ceramic horse and a makeout session begins, my older daughter thinks this is hilarious and begins to do the same thing with another horse. I attempt to stop the makeout sessions, and of course a full-blown tantrum ensues.
What went wrong? My expectations were unrealistic. At home, Ava has full access to her toys and a set of farm animals that she will play with and kiss and pretend to say goodnight to. It’s not surprising that she walks into this space, sees a horse and thinks it’s something she can play with. The other difference at a store like this versus Target or the grocery store is the overall setup, it’s not aisle after aisle and there’s no cart to contain her. It’s setup much more like a home and is intentionally inviting you to engage with the inventory.
When those tantrums happen, take a deep breath, say it’s time to go, pick up your kids screaming, and all walk out of the store. Any of the salespeople or shoppers who have been parents have been there and get it. It’s hard not to get frustrated at your kids in those moments, but before you do, make sure they have the tools and skills to manage their behavior in those environments. Just because we want them to act in a certain way, doesn’t mean they know how to…yet.
For more help or questions always feel free to reach out: ssavin@jccchicago.org
Written by Sam Savin LCSW, Youth Clinical Social Worker, JCC Chicago